Progress Report 3-2

Dear support group

Here we go as promised. As of the last report I was feeling pretty good in general except for some on and off abdominal discomfort and traveling side jabs that I blamed on drug withdrawal. Cancer pain does not go away I was told several time. It was nothing that interfered with my life until this one night 3 weeks ago where out of the blue I had this unbearable pain by my left rib that kept me up all night. I called my doctor first thing in the morning and based on my description of the pain he; 1- prescribed Vicodin and 2- sent me for a ct scan of the rib and lungs. His concern was pulmonary embolism. I thought I had a big gas bubble. Well thank God the lungs were clear and the doctor’s guess was that the hot active spot was putting pressure on the nerves in my side and back. I stayed on low dose of the pain killer until I went to see my second opinion at the end of the week. He guessed the same regarding the source of pain and confirmed Randy’s request for an MRI to see what else is going on. The meeting went very well, he agreed that the drug I did not want was not the best choice and that the side effects to success ratio were not optimum. He also explained some other alternatives if needed in the future. There are so many advances it is amazing with new targeted therapies coming up the pipes. These are therapies that aim just at the cancer without affecting the healthy cells. But for now I am back on the original combination of one chemo drug, one anti-angiogenesis drug and one bone strengthener (this one is new to me). They each have their side effects but all in general tolerable. I had experienced the first 2 previously and did pretty well with them. Now all looks good right? Let’s just start. I started last week Monday and overall the day was fine except that after a long time of feeling wonderful and energetic,it seems my pain free ticket had expired, I can’t remember receiving a renewal form. I changed pain killers to a stronger slow release which knocked me out. Being in a haze that night I woke up to use the bathroom, lost my balance and took a really bad fall hitting my ribs on the side of the dresser. That was not good. I was in agony and all I wanted was to rest. We considered an Xray but I had the MRI scheduled so decided to wait for it. The rib pain was better by the end of the week but the back pain was getting worth. I know this sounds pretty bad, but no worry, luckily Sharbel has been with me already for a few days to take me to IU and he literally has not left my side since the fall. The hardest part is getting up from bed in the morning but otherwise I can walk and move around with limitation, much of it imposed by my dear husband. this Monday Second treatment went better with only one drug to take, (they are rotated. I was a little tired that night but waking up feeling much better with only the back pain to deal with.
I also had the MRI yesterday and that went miraculously well ( you think my luck is changing?. The open MRI was a huge improvement even though I kept my eyes closed throughout the 2 ½ hours. 2 Vicadins and a valium also helped but mostly Sharbel’s presence in the room was the most comforting even thought we could not talk. It was very noisy despite the ear plugs and it sounded like hammering and pounding which actually reminded me of a construction site, so I occupied my mind with images of demolition and construction that will be inundating our house soon. I don’t have a full report from the MRI yet but enough to know that we need to shrink down the active area and relief the pressure to get rid of the pain. So for now it is a matter of time. How many weeks i am not sure but I know I am feeling a little better every day so I think we are on the right track. I will finish up this report by sharing with you my theory regarding all this sudden commotion. When I first got the scan report showing the extra activity I thought to myself this sucker knows that it is on its way out and is trying to scare me. It could not do that. I had no fear, I had peace and I had faith. I was annoyed and angrier at it but I did not spiral down of loose my footing. I told you before I learned how to fly. I knew I was going to come out of it and that that too will pass. Having failed to scaring me emotionally the “pesky critters” decided to give their all and knowing I don’t really like pain thought they will weaken me this way. Well I think they are finding out what I am made of. They will not bring me down emotionally or physically. I have to remain patient, make the best of the situation and ride the wave one more time. With my husband, kids, family and friends by my side I still have the strongest army and no illness can take that away from me.
Thank you again and again and again for all your love and support that each of you bestow on me in the best possible way you know how and truly hope that the next report will be more uplifting and bearing good news.
Much love
nevine