Follow up 1

It's been six weeks since I was here. I had a quick run in to get my port flushed or as Andee the nurse called it a quick lube and oil change. I was happy to see the girls but had no inclination to spend any more time than necessary in the clinic. I go back in 6 weeks for another oil change and a check up with Randy. I will also have had a scan a week before. “So we will know” says Andee. I told her that I already knew the result of not only this scan but everyone after that hoping silently that I may not have to keep coming back every three months for long. I wish I could save the insurance money by convincing Randy of that but I understand he needs the paperwork to prove it and if that's what it takes to convince others of my miracle so be it. So for now I go through the motions and stay vigilant not to allow doubt enter my mind. It is easy to set back into old habits and take things for granted, to forget the blessings and slip into disgruntlement and discontentment. On one hand this seems to bring some normalcy into life but the truth is that when that happens I feel that I have left what I call my "Peace Zone". It is very comfortable and peaceful here. It's a place I have been blessed to discover and would be foolish to leave as I learn to make that zone home and my new norm for "Normalcy". There is no going back.
much love